Update from Julie
Hi Friends and family! Here’s the latest on my treatments and life in general.
As a recap, I have stage 4 breast cancer. It started in my reconstructed breast’s scar and moved to many lymph nodes, my liver, one lung and multiple bones. The liver is the biggest concern as far as length of life. Previous to my diagnosis, I had been concerned about some pain I had been having. Multiple scans this past June revealed that my previous cancer from 15 years ago had spread. In June I started on oral chemotherapy and had some radiation. We recently found that the chemo wasn’t making any progress, so we switched to endocrine therapy. There are more details in previous updates. I also added a section recently to this website called Shadows where I am hoping to encourage others in their trials.
Right now my treatment includes a monthly blood draw, a monthly infusion for bone strength, two daily pills to suppress estrogen and various natural treatments. The side effects are fairly minimal. The bone strengthening shot can make me feel flu-sick for a day or two. The pills can make me sleepy and give me extreme dry-mouth. They can cause other side effects, but I have not experienced these as of yet. The bone cancer causes significant pain in my ribs, tailbone, pelvis, neck, clavicle and sternum. The mets in my liver cause a burning pain that comes and goes. I take an opioid to control these pains. The medication alleviates most of the pain and doesn’t make me feel too kooky. So, physically speaking, I have slowed down a LOT, have some fatigue and some breakthrough pain, but overall I don’t feel terrible much of the time.
I am thankful that I have the time, the insurance, the money and the people to help me take care of myself. I can’t imagine doing this without this type of support system. I am blessed beyond measure.
People have asked how I’m doing and what I’m doing. Those are complicated questions, but I’ll try to explain. I’m on disability and not working at my job. I spend a lot of time resting. When I lie down, I can only lay on my left side, so that is a challenge as my left side gets sore, falls asleep etc. I found this funny little pillow with a hole in the middle that takes pressure off of my left ear which has inflamed cartilage from laying on it so much. Anyway, there’s probably a hundred little things like this to deal with. I guess what I’m saying is, a lot of my day is taken up with resting, taking vitamins, figuring out how to lessen some of the little side effects, etc.
I’ve been visiting a lot with friends and family. I’ve been on some trips. I try to get out a few times a week to the beach or to a nearby city with a friend for lunch… Things like that. As a matter of fact, I’m in Mammoth this weekend with my son, Neal and my sister-in-law, Kim. Spending time with my loved ones is a top priority. Getting out of town helps distract me from some things (which is nice), but I also really like being at home. We’ve lived there so long, it’s a place of good memories with friends and family. It’s sort of like a little cocoon for me. The days kind of blend into one another. I keep telling myself I’m going to make my time more structured, but that’s not how it’s working out for now.
The above kind of tells you what I’ve been doing. How am I doing? I mean, that’s a hard one. I’m doing my best? I’m sad and tired and fighting pain, but I’m also joyful and happy and thankful and surrounded by loved ones. As I’ve said before, I truly trust in God’s sovereignty, but that doesn’t mean I don’t grieve the losses of which there are many. There’s the small losses like not driving and not hiking and not working. Then there’s the big losses like facing mortality, the necessary changes in relationships at this point in life and realizing that things will likely never get back to “normal.”
I also have a keen awareness, that I’m not the only one going through tough things. 2021 seems to be a hard year for so many people that I know. May we all learn from God’s refinement. May we all consider it pure joy when we face trials for many kinds. May we all reflect Christ’s love in our suffering. May we all encourage one another toward joy, trust and love.
Many have asked how they can pray. Please pray for my family because I know that ultimately this will be harder for them than it is for me. Mic has been amazing. He is such a support to me. My kids are no longer kids, but mature, loving, giving adults. They are some of my best friends. It’s so hard to see them in pain.
Psalm 34:1-5
I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.
I will glory in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice.
Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.
I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears.
Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.
