April PET Scan Results

Every three months or so I have a full-body PET scan to assess the state of “things.”  The report from last week’s scan stated that I am stable,  meaning there has basically been no change in the way my tumors look… they aren’t worse and they aren’t better.  Ideally, the medication would have shrunk them a little more, but conversely, it’s great that they haven’t grown.  I will see my oncologist on Wednesday where I will find out if there will be any change in my current treatment plan.    Additionally, I have a consult in Santa Monica on Wednesday for hyperthermia, the new treatment I mentioned in other posts.  I found out about hyperthermia while reading an article in a medical journal.  When I asked my oncologist about the therapy, she was familiar with it being tested in Europe, but did not know that it is offered in the US and is FDA approved.  There are fifteen treatment centers in the states, one of which isn’t too far from me!  It looks like I will be starting this adjuvant therapy the week after next, but I don’t have it officially scheduled yet.  I’ve had lots of friends offer to drive me to the daily appointments, so thank you!  Thankfully, my insurance approved full-payment for hyperthermia!  Here is a link if you would like to know more: https://hcioncology.com/

Here’s a link to a new post in the Shadows section. A Few Thoughts This Lord's Day

Thanks for reading. :)

PET Scan

It’s April already! I have another PET scan in two days on Thursday, April 7. You may have read that I had an extravasation of contrast fluid during my last CAT scan. That was a truly terrible experience which I thought would give me anxiety toward future scans. Thankfully I am not feeling anxious about extravasation happening again, but... There’s a thing in cancer circles called “scanxiety.” This scan-anxiety can be due to claustrophobia, needle fears and/or scan outcome anxiety among other things. I am usually able to avoid this anxiety by convincing myself to not think about the results until they come. However, this time I’m feeling a bit nervous. I’ll post the results on the website when I have them.

I also mentioned in my last post that I am probably starting a not-widely-used treatment called hyperthermia. My insurance approved the treatment, so I’m hoping to start in a few weeks. The program is six days a week for eight weeks in Santa Monica which is about a 45 minute drive each way. I’m going to be asking my friends and family to help drive me there. It will be a nice way to catch up with people, maybe even getting lunch together.

If you haven’t checked the website in a while, I’ve been a bit more active and there are several posts in the Update section as well as the Shadows section.

Thanks for checking in!

Trying to Think of a Word Besides “Update”

But I haven’t. Thought of a word besides, update, that is.

Anyway… I have been trying to squeeze in a bunch of adventures while I can. A few weeks ago I went to the Big Island with Mic and two of my girls. My vacations have changed drastically, but I am learning to slow down, to enjoy relaxing and to bask in the company of my family and friends. Last weekend took me to Las Gaviotas just south of Rosarito with Mic, two of my kids and my brother and sister-in-law. Tomorrow I’m headed to Carpinteria with my oldest, Marisa, for a one-night getaway. In a few weeks, I’m planning on going to Oaxaca with girlfriends! Ambitious, I know. ;)

In between these trips (which are really just excuses for extended time with loved ones) I mostly rest and go to the doctor. Some medical updates for those of you who like all (well most) of the details:

• A few weeks ago I had a CT scan to see if my neck radiation damaged the arteries in the back of my head. It did not damage them and is not the cause of my episodic head pain. However, during the scan, my arm vein burst and the CT contrast fluid leaked into my arm tissue and hit a nerve as well. It’s hard to explain how frightening and painful this experience was. Unfortunately, weeks later I am still dealing with nerve pain in that arm. It should heal up eventually.

• The day before leaving for Hawaii, I had the head pain thing and barely got packed in time. While in Hawaii, I slept a ton, but felt pretty good!

• I’ve been having chest pain. I have tumors in my sternum and ribs in that area and also in the lymph nodes around the heart. There is no cancer in the heart or in the sac around it. Tomorrow I am seeing a cardiologist again just to double check I’m not having heart problems.

• Yesterday I saw my oncologist. She is scheduling a PET scan very soon to see how the treatment is working.

• I think I may be adding a new-ish therapy soon called hyperthermia. It is used some in Europe and Mexico. There are only 15 places in the US using it and one happens to be in Santa Monica! If it help me, it should help with pain and also slow the growth of my tumors. They will probably target my liver. I’m excited to try this. The daily drive to Santa Monica for eight weeks, not so much.

• I think I’m doing a little better mentally. I’m getting used to the changes in my life and finding great peace in trusting God.

So that’s about it. Thanks for reading and for praying for these things. I’ve got some new content in the Shadows section… here’s the link… Lessons

Also, click “Read More” if you would like to comment on this update or any other.

Small Update & Life in Limbo

Hi! I haven’t updated for a while!

I thought it might be helpful to summarize what’s going on so a new reader doesn’t have to search through all the past posts. If you are already caught up, just skip this italicized part.

In June of 2021, I found that I have a recurrence of the breast cancer I had treated in 2007. I have hormone positive, HER 2 negative, stage 4 breast cancer. I do not have the BRCA gene, but some of my family does. I now have breast cancer in my skin, too many lymph nodes to count, many ribs, pelvis, tailbone, sternum, femur, a little in my lungs and bunch in my liver. The liver is the most concerning area and the bones give the most pain. In 2007, the cancer had only spread to three lymph nodes, so at that time I had a mastectomy, reconstruction, heavy-duty chemo, many smaller surgeries and radiation. This time around I have had neck radiation (that was not fun), oral chemotherapy that didn’t work and now something called endocrine therapy, which seems to be helping. When you have stage 4, they say it is treatable, but not curable. The goal is to extend life with minimal side effects from treatments. Sort of a balancing act between quality of life and quantity of life. The treatments, when they work, only work temporarily, but there are exceptions once in blue moon. In general, at some unknown point the cancer will grow resistant and start growing again. Not trying to be negative here, just laying out the facts as I understand them. (I don’t mind answering questions about cancer and cancer treatment, so ask away below or in person.)

As I mentioned before, my last PET scan showed a tiny bit of improvement, which is great. It looks like I will continue with the endocrine therapy I am on since it seems to be what’s helping. In the meantime, I’ve had these repeated “episodes” of terrible skull base pain with vomiting, so I have a cat scan next week to help figure that out. It’s probably some kind of unusual side effect from the neck radiation I had last summer.

My mental health has not been terrible, but it is not good either. Everything is so up and down all the time. I feel very unreliable. It’s like I’m not really ever “myself.” I have a challenging time making plans, small or big. I’ve been having a hard time communicating my thoughts and feelings regarding what’s inside my head right now. A big part of my not-great-mental-health-state is my situation, but it’s also the pain killers, and radiation, and endocrine therapy, and, and, and. My sister-in-law sent me this blog post and it summarizes much of how I feel. Read it if you like. Life In Limbo

I’m very thankful to have many caring people reaching out to me, praying for me and taking care of me. I’m thankful for my faith… the Lord is my shepherd. He is walking me through this valley. I am weary, but not without hope.

I’ve been working on some posts for the Shadows section of this website… hopefully I’ll finish them soon!

Thanks for checking in. Really.

P.S. Our puppy is really great therapy for our family! Here’s a blurry photo of us resting together. :)

ADDENDUM

February 10

Today has been one of my better days and I almost feel like “myself”! Anyway, just wanted to add a bit of good news. :)

PET Scan Results

I got my pet scan back. Looks like there is some improvement, probably from the endocrine therapy I have been taking! I haven’t met with my doctor yet, but got this information by reading the report uploaded to my medical app. This news is not in the “great” category, but definitely in the “good” category. It is awesome though to see any regression in disease!

-It appears that less lymph nodes have cancer… there are so many with cancer no one has counted them, but it seems like the number has gone down.

-Liver tumors… there seems to be a bit fewer in number (again too many to count) and the large ones appear a bit smaller. The liver is the most immediately life-threatening aspect of my cancer, so any shrinking of the tumors is wonderful!

-Bone tumors are all still there, but seem less “active”, which is good but I don’t know exactly what that means.

I will see my doctor next week, at which time I will get information regarding ongoing treatment.

Thank you for your continued prayers. I am humbled by the continued love and support. Check out some new posts in the Shadows section if you are so inclined. :) Shadows

PET Scan

Hi All,

I’ve had some ups and downs recently. A week and a half ago, I had another “episode” like I had the day I went to the hospital. Terrible head pain and vomiting, etc. It only lasted one day… same as before. I’m going to see a neurologist in January to try to determine what causes it. My liver pain has also increased unfortunately.

Yesterday I had a PET scan to check if my tumors have shrunk, grown or stayed the same. I will post here as soon as I know anything.

We had a GREAT Thanksgiving at our house with my family and my brother’s family. Mic and I have had some fun Christmas themed get togethers with our kids as well. Oh… and… we got a puppy! We got him on a whim and he has turned out to be such a blessing. He’s the easiest dog ever. Quiet, cuddly and playful. He was rescued from Mexico, is four months old, weighs 7 pounds and we named him Mateo. He doesn’t shed, so he’s not bothering my allergies.

Thanks to all who are checking in here. Your support is continually appreciated. I will update here soon. Here’s my latest addition to the Shadows section: Reflection

Not Much New

Hi Friends,

This is just to let you know that there is no big new news. I have a few appointments and the monthly bone strengthening shot the week after Thanksgiving. I’ll have a PET scan in about a month that should tell us if the endocrine therapy is helping or not. I’m keeping my pain under control most of the time with meds. I’m having a lot of fatigue and some depression, so I could use prayer for those things. Let me know if I can pray for you as well.

I’ll be spending Thanksgiving with my family and my brother’s family, so that will be super nice!

Please check out some new posts in the Shadows section of this website.

Quick Hospital Visit

You may have heard that I spent Tuesday of this week in the hospital. I had a sudden onset of nausea and skull pain with violent vomiting. We never figured out what caused it, but I had a brain MRI while I was there because my oncologist feared that I had developed a brain tumor, but thankfully that is not the case. I’m feeling much better now. I suspect I my body was rejecting the strong meds and loads of vitamins/herbs I’ve been taking, but who knows. I have some thoughts on this hospital visit that you can read in the Shadows section if you like.

Low White Blood Cell Count

Julie’s white (and red) blood cell counts have dropped from the endocrine therapy. She took a few days off from the the therapy and has now started back up. Please pray that the numbers will rise so that she can continue this treatment. Her next scan to check progression/regression will be at the beginning December. Thanks for checking in. There are some new posts in the Shadows section of the website.

A Broken Leg

Hi friends,

We had an unexpected turn of events when Julie’s youngest broke her femur last week when roller skating. As a reminder, Julie has been diagnosed with terminal, metastatic breast cancer that is in numerous areas of her body.

The break is all the way though the bone and our baby girl was put into surgery within hours of reaching the ER. They placed metal plates and rods in the femur and knee to hold the bone together. She was at the hospital for three days.

The femur is the most difficult bone to break and one of the most difficult to heal. The ER shared that they typically only see femur breaks in motorcycle accidents. Julie’s youngest has been in bed, sleeping most of the day for the last week. She has had a very high level of pain.

Recovery will be long. For at least eight weeks (one down, seven to go) she will not be able to move her knee or put any pressure on her legs. She has crutches, but so far has only had the strength to use them to go to the bathroom and shower. The doctors told us it would be a twelve month recovery with physical therapy, but we are hopeful that since she is so young, it will be sooner. We will learn more during a post op appointment this week.

Please pray for:

• Rapid healing of the bone

• Patience for Meg during recovery

• Strength for the Hirtzel family while they care for each other

• Peace during a time that seems to be very hectic

• Thanks that we have such a supportive network of friends and family nearby

Update from Julie

Hi Friends and family!  Here’s the latest on my treatments and life in general.

As a recap, I have stage 4 breast cancer.  It started in my reconstructed breast’s scar and moved to many lymph nodes, my liver, one lung and multiple bones.  The liver is the biggest concern as far as length of life.  Previous to my diagnosis, I had been concerned about some pain I had been having. Multiple scans this past June revealed that my previous cancer from 15 years ago had spread.   In June I started on oral chemotherapy and had some radiation. We recently found that the chemo wasn’t making any progress, so we switched to endocrine therapy.   There are more details in previous updates. I also added a section recently to this website called Shadows where I am hoping to encourage others in their trials.

Right now my treatment includes a monthly blood draw, a monthly infusion for bone strength, two daily pills to suppress estrogen and various natural treatments.  The side effects are fairly minimal.  The bone strengthening shot can make me feel flu-sick for a day or two.  The pills can make me sleepy and give me extreme dry-mouth.  They can cause other side effects, but I have not experienced these as of yet.  The bone cancer causes significant pain in my ribs, tailbone, pelvis, neck, clavicle and sternum.  The mets in my liver cause a burning pain that comes and goes.  I take an opioid to control these pains.  The medication alleviates most of the pain and doesn’t make me feel too kooky.  So, physically speaking, I have slowed down a LOT, have some fatigue and some breakthrough pain, but overall I don’t feel terrible much of the time.

I am thankful that I have the time, the insurance, the money and the people to help me take care of myself.  I can’t imagine doing this without this type of support system.  I am blessed beyond measure.

People have asked how I’m doing and what I’m doing.  Those are complicated questions, but I’ll try to explain.  I’m on disability and not working at my job.   I spend a lot of time resting.  When I lie down, I can only lay on my left side, so that is a challenge as my left side gets sore, falls asleep etc.  I found this funny little pillow with a hole in the middle that takes pressure off of my left ear which has inflamed cartilage from laying on it so much.  Anyway, there’s probably a hundred little things like this to deal with.  I guess what I’m saying is, a lot of my day is taken up with resting, taking vitamins, figuring out how to lessen some of the little side effects, etc.

I’ve been visiting a lot with friends and family.  I’ve been on some trips.  I try to get out a few times a week to the beach or to a nearby city with a friend for lunch…  Things like that. As a matter of fact, I’m in Mammoth this weekend with my son, Neal and my sister-in-law, Kim.  Spending time with my loved ones is a top priority.  Getting out of town helps distract me from some things (which is nice), but I also really like being at home.  We’ve lived there so long, it’s a place of good memories with friends and family.  It’s sort of like a little cocoon for me.  The days kind of blend into one another.  I keep telling myself I’m going to make my time more structured, but that’s not how it’s working out for now.

The above kind of tells you what I’ve been doing.  How am I doing?  I mean, that’s a hard one.  I’m doing my best? I’m sad and tired and fighting pain, but I’m also joyful and happy and thankful and surrounded by loved ones.  As I’ve said before, I truly trust in God’s sovereignty, but that doesn’t mean I don’t grieve the losses of which there are many.  There’s the small losses like not driving and not hiking and not working.  Then there’s the big losses like facing mortality, the necessary changes in relationships at this point in life and realizing that things will likely never get back to “normal.”

I also have a keen awareness, that I’m not the only one going through tough things.  2021 seems to be a hard year for so many people that I know.  May we all learn from God’s refinement.  May we all consider it pure joy when we face trials for many kinds.  May we all reflect Christ’s love in our suffering.  May we all encourage one another toward joy, trust and love.

Many have asked how they can pray.  Please pray for my family because I know that ultimately this will be harder for them than it is for me. Mic has been amazing.  He is such a support to me.  My kids are no longer kids, but mature, loving, giving adults.  They are some of my best friends.  It’s so hard to see them in pain.

Psalm 34:1-5

I will extol the LORD at all times; his praise will always be on my lips.  

I will glory in the LORD; let the afflicted hear and rejoice. 

Glorify the LORD with me; let us exalt his name together.  

I sought the LORD, and he answered me; he delivered me from all my fears. 

Those who look to him are radiant; their faces are never covered with shame.

The Valley of Vision

Eli is Julie’s son who is attending Greenville Presbyterian Theological Seminary. He is sharing this passage from his personal reading for encouragement. As a reminder, Julie is battling advanced metastatic breast cancer that has spread to numerous areas in her bones and organs.

This prayer is the first among many deep and thought-provoking puritan prayers in the book The Valley of Vision. It displays boldly the trustworthy comforts God's children have in deep trials through paradoxical language. A paradox is not a contradiction but a grammatical rendering that sounds contradictory on the surface yet is true when further explained. For example, people receive life (life in Christ) when they die (total abandonment of life in Adam). The prayer speaks for itself.

LORD, HIGH AND HOLY, MEEK AND LOWLY,

You have brought me to the valley of vision, 

where I live in the depths but see you in the heights;

hemmed in by mountains of sin I behold your glory.

Let me learn by paradox

that the way down is the way up,

that to be low is to be high,

that the broken heart is the healed heart,

         that the contrite spirit is the rejoicing spirit,

that the repenting soul is the victorious soul,

that to have nothing is to possess all,

that to bear the cross is to wear the crown,

that to give is to receive,

that the valley is the place of vision.

Lord, in the daytime, stars can be seen from the deepest wells,

and the deeper the wells, the brighter your stars shine;

Let me find your light in my darkness,

your life in my death,

your joy in my sorrow,

your grace in my sin,

your riches in my poverty,

your glory in my valley.

If you are interested in more prayers like this, consider buying The Valley of Vision here.

Scan Results

This week Julie and the crew got back from Texas and the appointment from MD Anderson. The doctor was helpful but had no new news. He confirmed everything she has been told to date and shared a few more details on how clinical trials work. He said they could call for advice at anytime but Julie will remain in the care of the local doctors that she is already working with.

Today, we got the results of yesterday’s PET scan. None of the lesions have reduced in size and one area has increased, meaning her body has not been responsive to the chemotherapy. She will be moving to endocrine therapy as the next attempt to see if her body will respond. Please pray that her body responds positively and that endocrine will be a long term treatment option for her.

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you meet trials of various kinds, for you know that the testing of your faith produces steadfastness. And let steadfastness have its full effect, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.”

‭‭James‬ ‭1:2-4‬ ‭ESV‬

Prayer Requests

• Please pray for Julie in this unusual season of life, that she would continue to navigate it with grace and joy.

• Julie, her sister-in-law, Kim, her youngest daughter, Meg and nurse-friend, Reina will all be going to an appointment at MD Anderson in Houston on September 14 to see if they have any additional therapies or any clinical trials that Julie can participate in. Please pray that the trip would be safe and that the doctors would have additional, helpful treatment for her and particularly that there may be an opportunity for a clinical trial.

• A PET scan is scheduled for September 16th to see if the chemotherapy has helped to reduce any tumors. Please pray that we would see reduction of the many lesions in her body. Also pray that she would not fear or worry about the outcome of the upcoming scan.

• A follow up appointment is scheduled on September 17th with the medical oncologist to discuss the scan and ongoing treatment plan. Please pray for wisdom from the doctors to read the scan and provide treatment options that would increase quality and extend longevity of her life.

• Julie will receive another bone strengthening injection on September 29th. Please pray that it is effective and that pain is minimal.

• Unfortunately, Julie’s pain levels have increased significantly the past few days, which could mean the cancer is progressing. Please pray that her pain decreases and that this is not a sign of cancer growth.

• If you know Julie, you know she loves to be productive and to serve others. She is not used to having so much free time but at the same time, not having the physical ability to fill it. Pray that she has finds satisfaction in being productive spiritually and grows closer to her Lord and Savior.

  Please pray for peace and fortitude as our earthly plans change. Pray that she would not have sadness or fear of missing future events and people on this earth. Pray that she finds comfort and joy in the assurance that we will live together again someday.

Back from France

Hi Friends, it’s Julie. 

I’ve been back from France for more than a week now!  In some ways it seems like a faraway dream. We had a really great time.  If you didn’t see the trip and are interested, you can look at my saved stories entitled France 21 & France #2.

Now that I’m back to my “new normal” life,  I’m trying to figure out how to spend my time from day to day. I’ve got some ideas, but now I just need to put them into place.  I’m back on chemo and this Wednesday I have another bone strengthening injection.  So far, I have had no side effects from this injection, which is awesome.  I have a scan in the next week or two which will show if the chemo has been helping.

I don’t have much else to say… just trying to get used to this new normal.

Psalm 23 

The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want.

He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters.

He restoreth my soul: he leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for his name's sake.

Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil: for thou art with me; thy rod and thy staff they comfort me.

Thou preparest a table before me in the presence of mine enemies: thou anointest my head with oil; my cup runneth over.

Surely goodness and mercy shall follow me all the days of my life: and I will dwell in the house of the Lord for ever.

The Latest…

Some prayer requests…

• hand foot syndrome from chemo is healing up a bit!

• nausea and bone/liver pain continues

• a new round of chemo starts 8/4

• bone medicine injection on 8/4

• leave for France on 8/8!!!!

As previously mentioned, Julie is going on a trip to France with Mic, her brother Neal and his wife Kim! Take off is on the 8th. If you’d like to tag along on the adventure, check out Julie’s instagram stories at julieannehirtzel.

Update

Hi All,

It feels weird to have a website.  I’m usually hiding in a corner, not the center of attention. But here I am. Smack dab in the middle. 

I’ve heard from so many of you regarding the day of prayer and fasting as well as encouraging me regarding what I wrote in the last post about my childhood.  Thank you. It is humbling to have so many people supporting me in so many ways. A few of you have been asking if there is anything to report.  So here’s the latest…

Medically speaking, I have a few updates. My pain has increased and I have upped my medications, yet sometimes I don’t get in front of the pain.  When I do get the timing right, I have pretty good days.

I am now experiencing Hand Foot Syndrome which is induced by some chemo meds. I have about five small sores, which could end up covering my feet.  I’m doing everything I can to keep that from happening!  

I mentioned a big trip and some of you have asked about it, so let me tell you the plan. My brother Neal, his wife Kim, my husband Mic and I are going to France on August 9!   I’m a little worried about how I can handle everything, but I’m going to try! Neal used a TON of points to get me a lay-down, AKA first class, seat! We have also rented a camper van, so I can rest when I need to. We aren’t sleeping in it, but instead have Airbnbs along the way. Our first four nights are in Paris without the van, of course! Usually I walk a ton on trips, but this time I’m thinking that rental bikes and taxis will be helpful. After Paris we have four nights in the French Alps and finally, two nights on the southern coast at which time Mic and I will fly home.  The Drinkwards will stay a few more days on their own. I’m really looking forward to this time with my family in such a beautiful place!

Love, Julie

Update & A Long Story

Hi Friends!

I want you to know that my mouth sores have healed, my blood pressure is up (thankfully!) due to medication and I have figured out my pain medication so that it alleviates much of the pain. I’m feeling much better this week! It even looks like I’ll be going on a big trip in a few weeks!

I am thankful that so many of you participated in the prayer and fasting and are continually upholding us in prayer.

In regards to the Christian themes on this blog, I would like to tell the story of how I came to faith.

Growing up in South Redondo was magical. A perfect mix of beautiful surroundings, loving families and fun activities. My family consisted of my mom, my dad, my brother and me. Like many people have experienced, the idyllic surroundings didn’t make our family life idyllic. We had many serious illnesses in the house and also some angst coming from these trials. I did not grow up going to church, but was always drawn to Christianity and also other belief systems. I was born with a philosophical bent. Among the myriad of illnesses, my mom got breast cancer when I was in 5th grade. After she finished her surgery and treatments, other illnesses crept in for her and for my dad. During this time my brother and I also lost most of our grandparents, many aunts and uncles and even two cousins to various illnesses and tragedies. I don’t write this for pity or to insinuate I had the hardest life ever. I’m just saying it to lay the foundation to tell you how sad and lost I felt from 5th grade through college.

My mom was facing her own battles. She hung to life with desperation. She wanted healing. We were trained in Transcedental Meditation, went to psychics, tried various healing religions and sought extreme homeopathic healings. When I was 16 and my mom was 52, her cancer returned and was metastatic. Our neighbor invited her to church. She got very involved for a year and the change I saw in her ministered to me greatly. I remember her telling me that God could heal her body, but if He didn’t, she was at peace because her soul had been healed. The change in her was amazing. I already thought she was absolutely wonderful (she was my everything), but she made amends with anyone she needed to ask forgiveness from. She had new life from her belief in Jesus. She had a Savior and didn’t need to save herself.

On my 17th birthday, my mom went into the hospital for the last time. This hospital was a few blocks from Redondo High, so every day after school I walked over to the hospital and spent a few hours with her until my dad would arrive after he finished work. She asked me to read the Book of Matthew to her. Wow! We were awestruck by what is was saying, both of us truly believing what I was reading. I vividly remember talking about the portion that says that hating someone in your heart is the sin of murder. We were like, uh oh.

My current pastor was a substitute teacher and coach at Redondo. Each day he invited pretty much the whole school to a Bible Study starting Monday, June 6. We thought, ok, ok… we heard you. Early in the morning, on Monday, June 6, my mom went to be with her Savior. It was a relief to see her leave her body of pain. But I was broken. Half of me was gone. As I thought at the time, my god was dead. It was at this moment that God drew me to Him… a God that will never die, that is the same yesterday, today and tomorrow. My journey of grief was long and difficult, but believing that my Heavenly Father, My Shepherd was with me in the shadow of death comforted me then as it does now.

I have been a Christian since this time. Enjoying reading about all beliefs and philosophies as well as loving the diverse writings of Sartre, Descartes, Rand, Augustine and others, you can imagine that I am tempted to stray. In my thinking though, my faith is real and indescribable. The Word of God is the only thing I hold to as absolute truth. (Obviously, I am trying to write this in a nutshell, which is impossible!). I love that the Christian faith is about God saving us and not by us saving ourselves through working hard to be good enough.

I’m really going out on a limb (for me) writing all this. I’m often quiet about my beliefs, yet today I thought I would like to share my story. I made it as brief as I could! There’s so much more to say about the faithfulness of God in my life.

Lately I’ve been writing things down as I think of them. I’ll close with something I wrote last month.

What I hope for all my loved ones: That they would know Jesus as their Savior, as the one who brings peace to their souls. Before I knew my savior, I was lost, and then I was found. I was alone, and then I was comforted. True, I have spent a lot of life contemplating the reason for existence and it’s seeming meaninglessness, but that is not to say that I do not trust God in His infinite wisdom. Trusting in his omniscient wisdom brings a peace that our own ponderings cannot and never will bring, because, as I have always said to my kids, our finite brains would explode if we understood everything about an omniscient God.

With love, Julie

Molecular Biopsy Results

Yesterday we found out that Julie is a great candidate for Endocrine therapy and that Immunotherapy is not an option. She will still continue on 4-6 more rounds of chemo before potentially switching to Endocrine. Endocrine therapy is supposed to be a less-harsh long term treatment so this is good news.

James 5:13-16

“Is anyone among you in trouble? Let them pray. Is anyone happy? Let them sing songs of praise. Is anyone among you sick? Let them call the elders of the church to pray over them and anoint them with oil in the name of the Lord. And the prayer offered in faith will make the sick person well; the Lord will raise them up. If they have sinned, they will be forgiven. Therefore confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The prayer of a righteous person is powerful and effective.”

‭‭James‬ ‭5:13-16‬ ‭